Official doofenshmirtz favorites :D

Official Favorite Blanks of the Doofenshmirtz League
Fav blank: Blank blank blanch
Fav TV show: eviLive
Fav website: No more need be said
Fav watering can: Cow
Fav book: Harry Potter (Voldemort is sooo inspiring! But he dies :( ) haha
Fav Bee movie: Bee Movie
Fav corporation: Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.
Fav vacation that always excites us around this time of year: You Know What (cal trip)

written by Thomas Deathlabutterfly, representing the interests of Doofenshmirtz evil inc as a whole

You guys, really. Seriously.

You people are piranhas!!! I'm sure you read my blog every day, lying in wait for me to say something politically incorrect, spell something wrong, or state something you don't agree with. I can only IMAGINE what it'll be like to be a journalist, jaws of doom snapping on my toes a split second before I have the chance to escape. Remember my post about truth? The article as a whole had a point. The point of the article was NOT that love does not exist. The point of the article was NOT that I am a pessimist. In fact, I'm not. I'm a radical optimist, always. The glass for me is not only half full, but contains extra space for a reason- to be filled with even more water! The point of that article was truth. And ignore my statement that love does not exist. Perhaps I said it wrong. Love exists, but it is not what we think it is. There is a complex, crazy theory behind this and there's no point in questioning. Just take my word for it. And readers, really. Seriously. You need hobbies if you have nothing better to do than to contradict something I wrote that was not even a main point of the article, in fact it was tiny, peripheral, a "fly on the wall", should I say?(Miley Cyrus...)But you guys, life is life. Now move on.

Truth, and the desire for it (or lack thereof).

The fact is, humans don't want to face the truth. We want to believe in magic, we want to believe in legends, we want to believe in miracles, we want to believe in love at first sight. The hard, cold truth is that all these are falsity. (Wasn't that a wonderful oxymoron, readers?) Magic doesn't exist. Legends are simply stories. Miracles are not purposeful, and they rarely occur. If any one of you claims you have "experienced" love at first sight, it must have been an extremely good looking person. Certainly not love, in today's terms. (love at first sight does not exist. Ask me later, I'll explain in person. But that's beside the point.) We do not want the truth and only the truth. Our brains know the truth and only the truth yet our hearts modify it to be beautiful. And let me tell you, the truth is ugly. I have not done or achieved anything "great" of sorts. Yes, I've won a few contests here or there, written the occasional decent essay, but I am not great. I am not Mozart, not George Washington, and not Cincinattus for that matter. Someday I hope to be Anita Ramaswamy, the famous journalist, world-renowned for exposing a large presidential scandal and/or writing a first-class column on her world travel that include Tanzania, Kyoto, and Moorea Lagoon. Odds are, I will be Anita Ramaswamy, the journalist, slightly known in one state newspaper for writing about laundry detergent brands and/or writing a decent column about her travels of only Singapore. I'm not being pessimistic, just realistic. I'm aiming to be famous and great, I'm just prepared for the worst. As they say, "shoot for the moon and you'll land among the stars." So this is my advice to you readers. Shoot for the moon, but don't be afraid to accept the truth.

UPDATE a.k.a. Current State of the Union

UPDATE- the acronym

U stands for Urgh- quizzes that think I'm lesbian (cough cough emma)
P stands for pssssshaw, yeah right!!!- Bobby Flay is NOT the king of food network.
D stands for DUH, IT'S OBVIOUS!!!- Uh, really, L'Oreal, I KNOW ALREADY that you can't control menopause. Stop telling me, ALRIGHT?!?!?!?!?!
A stands for Awesome, like ttly!!!- New york citaaaaaayyyyy!!! It's so AMAZING!!!
T stands for Totally suckish- spring break is almost over.
E stands for Ehhhhhhh...- hindi movies. cheesy, or entertaining? you tell me. comment with your opinion.

BYE GUYS!!!!!!!!! COMMENT!!!!!!!!

Reflection

glossy pool
reflection, again
eleven smooth stones
like glass
distorted, a face
familiar, but
empty
water settles
at peace
like ignorant sleep.

Ahhhhh. The great outdoors..........

The world is becoming more and more dependent on technology. As electronics advance, we become lazier and lazier, and we stay inside, playing "bubble wrap 4:with colors" on our computers. As each day passes by, we spend less and less time in the great outdoors, our mother nature, whom without it, we would be lost. Rarely does a person, in our technologically advanced times, notice the beauty of sunlight reflected on tranquil waters, or the imperfect but beautiful patchy grass. I'm not telling you to be like Henry David Thoureau and detach yourself from society at a cabin near Walden Pond, but I am simply asking you to get out of your bedroom and smell the roses. Or at least go change your screensaver to a picture of a tree or something.

Precomprehensive exams.

Pre-comps. The word that strikes fear into the innocent hearts of sixth graders. The word that makes your spirits plummet deeper than the bottom of the Marianas Trench. The word that makes your stomach do a somersault. The word that every sixth grader fears most. Pre-comps. It is unspoken of at the lunch table, children eating their lunches in complete silence, even though it's their only chance to talk to each other. But they all look at the floor while walking in the hallways, twirling their hair, biting their pencils. No one dares to chew gum or leave their CJ's accidentally open under their desks. No one dares to look at the clock, because of fear of being mistaken for cheating. No one dares to wear a watch in case it beeps during the silent tension, breaking the aura of concentration. Sixth graders stand alone in the hallways, with wet, salty tears trickling down their purple cheeks, and the girls' mascara streaking down their dainty fairy faces, like black tears. The look of death, of cold, hard realization, the look of ugly despair crosses the face of the short, usually happy boy, who didn't fill out his scantron. The A-student sixth-grader, top of the class, buckles under pressure and bombs the test. In the sixth graders' heads, echoes of their parents voices repeat themselves like a broken MP3. "If you don't get that 100....." or "95 and above or you will.....". The sixth graders don't dare repeat the last part of the sentences in their heads, in fear of being jinxed, or putting a curse on themselves. The eternal silence is like an ocean of blackness, drowning all the sixth graders in its dark grasp. The thoughts going through their pubescent minds are what people thought with their heads in the guillotine. Some sixth graders make horrible, silly mistakes on their tests. Others blank out completely. But there are always the ones who just can't take it, the ones who let out cries of agony, the ones who know they have been doomed from the start.